Keeping Secrets

If you knew me at all, you'd know that my life is pretty much an open book. I've always been that way, don't really know why, but it's actually easier to just tell things like they are than to try to keep any big secrets. Hey - if it's all out there, no one can blackmail you, right?!

My husband got used to this a long time ago. We struggled with infertility for years, and everyone knew about it. I'm a singer at church, and many of the lessons I learned during that struggle (and others!) over the years were shared with the entire congregation when I was getting ready to share a song. I feel that God gave me a voice, both for singing and for sharing, so I do both. I know that everything I go through makes me stronger, and helps me to minister to someone else who will be dealing with the same thing. So, no secrets.

Now, as a lifelong member of the Fat Girl Club, I can tell you that I tried diet after diet. I did Weight Watchers, TOPS, the Mayo Clinic Diet, the Modified Protein Sparing Diet, Richard Simmons Deal a Meal, my own "Drink, Smoke and Dance Diet", grapefruit and hardboiled eggs, Vegetable Soup, Atkins, South Beach, diet pills, diet shakes, you name it. And with each diet I would lose some weight; sometimes a little, sometimes a lot.

People were always so sweet, telling me how great I looked, how did I do it? Most people want to hear one of two things; a miracle that will work for them, or the fact that you have starved yourself to death and exercised until you could no longer stand up. Usually it was the latter that I would answer, as I had never come across the actual "Miracle Diet" that worked. If I had done really well on a diet, the next question would be to know exactly what I was eating, what exercise plan, all of that. I know why they asked, I asked the same questions whenever someone I knew lost weight. And of course I would receive kudos on my hard work and dedication. Thank you. Now turn around while I put the weight back on! It'll only take a minute.

Now comes my Mini Gastric Bypass surgery. I know some people are open with others about having the surgery, and some are not. I have chosen to be open about it. I am finding it humorous to watch folk's reactions when I tell them I had weightloss surgery. It's like their faces are all lit up, telling me how great I look and I just have to tell them what I'm doing so they can do it too. When I answer, it's like watching a balloon deflate. I know it's because they wanted me to tell them I just ate a little less and exercised a little more, and BOOM! the weight just fell off. Once they know I've had surgery (oh! the Band...they say. And I say No, and explain the MGB.) Then they have to decide whether to tell me I'm doing a great job, because now they pretty much feel that I took the easy way out. It's okay. I felt the same way when I saw my friend who had lost 80 lbs after her MGB.

I guess what it gets down to is that this IS the Miracle Diet for me. Yes, it was drastic, and expensive. In case you're wondering, it's $17K. But it's worth it. I can say that for the first time in my life I feel that I will actually reach my goal, and will be able to maintain my weight loss. I'm committed to this, I exercise, I plan what I eat, I avoid the things my surgeon says will hurt me....and it's not the easy way out. It is a way out. Other diets were a way out, but somehow I always ran into a roadblock that keep me in the maze. This way out is actually leading me out without the roadblocks. Thinville is within sight!

So my MGB is not a secret. If my sharing about my journey allows someone to find the right path for them, YEAH! Life is all about being there for each other, to direct, inspire and encourage as we make our way through this journey.

Journey On!